There’s this moment in films that nearly kills me every time. It’s when the girl takes off her glasses, and the guy drops instantly at her feet realising for the first time that she is actually beautiful. Ā These scenesĀ shred my self confidence into a million shards. I ask ‘Am I ugly because I have to wear glasses? Will I be a lonely spinster all of my life’? Itās a fear that cuts deep beneath my skin, and affects every part of who I am.Ā Before I know it, I have defined myself by something I have no control over.
Maybe itās not glasses for you, but perhaps thereās something that controls how much value you place upon yourself –Ā a weight issue, a disability, a fear, or something completely different. A lie. AĀ lie about yourself that manipulates you like a master puppeteer and tangles you further as you try to take back control.
Iām a self confessed control freak; I think a lot of us are. Whenever I feel like Iām losing control of a situation, automatically, I want to take drastic measures to become in charge again. I want to cover up the mess. It can be the reason why so many of us have addictions, suffer from eating disorders, or struggle with self harm. Someone might have called us fat, so one response might beĀ to take back control of the situation by starving ourselves. Maybe our life has been filled with pain, so we cut into our skin to be in charge of the hurt we feel.
The problem is, the relief provided by binging, cutting, starving is only temporary. And it’s also destructive. Ā Before we know it, we have built a million walls around ourselves because we donāt want people to know the mess weāre in. No one will know the real me. Ā Yet at the same time, weāre blocking out the voice of truth that can speak hope into our lives.
The voice that tells us: āDo not be afraid, for I have ransomed you, I have called you by name; you are mineā (Isaiah 43: 1) because āI love you with an everlasting loveā (Jeremiah 31:3). You are loved, chosen. It’s a love that isĀ so much more than any hurt you’ve experience orĀ destructive behaviour you’ve inflicted on yourself.
Ā Iāve realised one thing: it is those who are persecuted for their faith, those who have to give up controlĀ that can inspire us.
Whilst weāre trying to stay in control, we canāt believe this, because weāre still leaning back on the world for acceptance.Ā Itās when we give up pursuing the worldās affirmation, that we understand fully this loveĀ -this unfailing love from God – because we have nothing of ourselves, or the world to fall back on. We need to give up control- to find freedom, love and acceptance.
Iām not going to lie, and say Iām good at this.Ā In fact, to be honest Iām rubbish at it. Iām writing as much to myself in this post as I am to you reading it. Ā However, over time Iāve realised one thing: it is those who are persecuted for their faith, those who have to give up controlĀ that can inspire us. Releasing the control,Ā they can seeĀ themselves through Godās eyes – and that’s something many of us need to learn.
They have nothing of the world to fall back on; they get abused, oppressed, mistreated, and ultimately rejected by the world. If they believed that they were what the world told them, theyād believe they were worthless. Ā Yet, they chose to live with the risk ofĀ persecution, when they could so easily seek acceptance from the world by blending in. Why do they do it? Because theyĀ know Godās love is greater than anything that is thrown at them.
If only we could believe this too. If only we could know that we are so much more than the lies that the world tells us!
No matter what – we are beautiful.
We support people who are beaten, tortured,
imprisoned, falsely accused, and hated simply for following Jesus.